Mishmash

I'm baa-aack. Technically I wasn't gone; I just skipped a week. This will be an update on what's been going on.

First off, the big news, AKA commercial break. J. J. Collins' new book, Horsepower, just came out yesterday. You can find it on Evernight Publishing's site at www.evernightpublishing.com and also on Bookstrand, Smashwords, All-Romance ebooks and Amazon. I added links over on the Shapeshifter Seductions blog, but I'm too tired and lazy to do that today. Just go to the site and type either J. J. Collins or Horsepower into Search and the page should come up. I already wrote the book. Do I have to do everything?

One side note: that scene on the cover does appear in the story. I won't swear to it, but the scene in the story may have been subconsciously inspired by this scene from Ghost Rider. This is the best scene in the movie, so I just saved you two hours. Ain't I nice?

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I'm still working my way through the Throne of Glass YA series. I must admit, the writing has been improving since the first book, and the plot is shaping up into something truly epic. Celaena's still a bitch at times, but she's nowhere near the abysmal twit she was in Book 1. So far, Book 2 appears to be the highwater mark. I confess to skimming chunks of Book 3, which ran over 300 pages. I got busy doing stuff, and the library only gives you two weeks. The bulk of Book 3 is Celaena learning how to use her newfound magic powers, which pretty much amounts to filler. I don't think I missed anything.

I just started Book 4, which clocks in at a whopping 600 pages. I may be skimming again. Also, from what I gather on Goodreads, this book supposedly wraps up most of the major plot threads and deals (fatally, in some cases) with the major bad guys. There are supposed to be two more books in this series. The writer must have something truly spectacular lined up if she's going to off her prime villains with two subsequent novels looming on the horizon. So far I've been binge reading, but Book 5 isn't out yet, and Book 6 isn't due until next year, I think. Maybe it's just as well the initial storyline's ending. When I finally get to the next two books, it'll feel like a whole new series.

Two side notes here: My local library has all four books, but I only got one there. They're always checked out when I look for them. I've had to get the others at other libraries in the county. That's four books so far, each one borrowed from a different library. I'll probably skim Book 5 in Barnes & Noble. Someday I'll have enough disposable income to buy books again. Also, once Celaena turned 18 and became a legal adult by modern standards, she started killing on camera. She also developed an active romantic life. In Book 1 she had two guys interested, by Book 2 she'd picked one, in Book 3 she left the country and found another guy overseas, and now in Book 4 she's back home and apparently over the guy she was so madly in love with in Book 2. All this while still mourning the first love of her life, who died before the series started. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

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So how'd I do on the Carina Challenge?

Miserably. Doesn't look like I'll be submitting to any of the anthologies. I did send in a proposal, but I haven't touched that either. Instead I got caught up in a story I'm not even sending to Carina. A couple people who sent in proposals have already gotten requests, and one of the editors said they've picked a couple already. Apparently I wasn't one of them. I'll finish both the stories I was planning to write eventually, unless I get distracted again. I blame yard work. When is science going to invent a self-mowing lawn?

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Finally, my brother, who is and always will be nine years older than I am, ha ha ha, had a pacemaker installed to deal with an irregular heartbeat. It's designed to send minishocks to his heart if it stops to get it going again. Here he is in the hospital:

And now it's on the Internet for everyone to see. You don't have to thank me.

What will science think of next? Not a self-mowing lawn, that's for damn sure. See you next week.

Distractions

But first, an update. As you’ll recall, I posted word about Carina Press and their current open calls for material, which includes five anthologies and a short-term call for proposals for stories of any length. Here’s where we stand:

The proposal call ended yesterday. I got one in at near the last minute, so I’m covered. It was one of my anthology contenders; I pretty much had the mandated three chapters already written. My synopsis didn’t quite make it to the required five pages, but I hope they don’t hold that against me. They’ve assured us we’ll hear back within the next twelve weeks. That gives me three months to write the thing, just in case I get the nod. I was going to send a second proposal, but time ran out. That one’s still going toward the anthology open call. So that’s two of the anthos accounted for. The other three …

Nope. Maybe if I was a faster writer. There are authors out there who have a new e-release—and we’re talking 40K-50K words and up novellas, not short stories or flash fiction—every month or so. Somebody else must be doing the housework. I’ll bet I could get more done if I didn’t have go out and buy groceries. Or write blogs. I’ve tried setting priorities and working on my time management, but it’s a struggle. I’ve got decades of bad habits to dismantle. I’m sure the problems will sort themselves out the lower my savings start dropping. I was hoping writing would supplement my income. Not if I don’t do it, it won’t.

I knew I was biting off more than I could chew when I announced I was aiming for all five anthologies. So I’m backing off. The proposal’s been sent so that’s on the table now, along with the story for the SF anthology. Two out of five isn’t bad, especially given the word count (25-40K words for the antho stories) and my glacial writing pace. I’m okay with that.

The reason for my backing out is positive, for once: I got hit with an idea for an Evernight Romance on the Go and I’ve been going great guns with it all week. Those max out at 14K, far more doable for me. Besides, the two longer stories I’m concentrating on are M/M. I’m confident I can find homes for them elsewhere if Carina says no. The M/F shapeshifter story I’m not sure about, even if I found time to get to it. The other two were only vague ideas. I’d rather concentrate on the ones I feel good about, rather than dash off some half-assed glop in order to meet a deadline. At least with the three I’m working on, I know how they end.

That clears my plate from an intimidating pile to something more manageable. I should be eating smaller portions anyway.

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Years upon years ago, our local paper ran a profile of a budding young neighborhood author. I’m not sure what she wrote. Given her age, which was somewhere in her 20s, I’m guessing literary fiction. If you’re going to write the Great American Novel, you’ll do it in your 20s. By the time you hit 30 you know better. At any rate, she said something along the lines of, “If you’re going to be a writer, you have to devote all your time and energy to it.”

Which immediately caused me to wonder: Who’s paying your bills, honey?

Somebody had to. Clearly somebody, either parents or a boyfriend/husband, was providing her with living quarters, food, electricity and medical coverage so she could focus all her time and attention in pursuit of her Art. Writers may live in our imaginations, but we still have to function in the real world, which includes such mundane distractions as eating, staying healthy, paying taxes, and hopefully interacting with the person or persons who bring home the paycheck that’s letting you live your dream.

I wanted to be a writer, too. I also wanted a car, a place to sleep and regular meals. Nobody was there to provide them for me. I fit the writing in between cleaning the house and yard, grocery shopping, face time with family and friends and a full-time job so I didn’t have to pursue my Art under a bridge. I had a few minor successes, but nothing I could live on because it came sporadically. You try being creative at the end of an eight-hour work day. More often than not, the writing was forced into the corner while I worked at supporting myself.

Some writers do this with kids added on. God bless ‘em all. Or maybe they had kids to create a built-in work force to look after the house, yard and laundry while Mom pounds out her latest opus. Damn, I should have thought of that.

Now that I’m semi-retired I’ve got more time for the Art, but it hasn’t quite worked out that way. As I alluded to above, those years of putting off writing while I worked a job left me with some bad procrastination habits. I’ll just have to plow on through. The rent won’t wait for me to feel inspired. Then there was that bout of explosive diarrhea that hit me Sunday night, which dragged on for almost two days and brought new meaning to the term “pain in the ass.” If you’re going to work for yourself in a home-based business, don’t forget to plan ahead for sick days. Or carry a notebook or tablet with you so you can write while sitting in the doctor’s waiting room. Most of the magazines are crappy anyway.

Wish I could remember that girl’s name. I’d love to Google her and see if her single-minded pursuit of her dream yielded literary success. Something tells me she revised her lofty views as soon as she got married or, at the latest, pregnant. Or maybe she taught her kids to type and dictates her books to them while she’s doing the dishes or folding clothes. I just her name wasn’t E. L. James, because if it was I’d be totally pissed.

Signs of the Times

But first, an update on the Carina Challenge: Carina Press has another special call out, this time for proposals. First three chapters and detailed synopsis. I’m going to sub with the two M/Ms I had planned for the anthology call. I figure this will save me some time: if one or both gets bounced, I can put them aside and write shorter stuff, finishing them at my leisure. Or focus on stories for the other three anthologies. The M/Ms have the best chance of selling to another publisher if Carina doesn’t want them, that’s why they’re going here. I’ll let you know what happens.

For you romance writers out there, here’s the link. Deadline is July 13, so if you don’t have something already finished or underway, better get a move on.

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I’m a bit late jumping on this bandwagon, but the problem I want to talk about has no set time or place. I’m sure we’ve all heard by now about the family vacationing at Disney World, who lost their young son to an alligator. Animal control searched the lagoon and found six gators in the water. I don’t know if Disney has modified the “No Swimming” signs, but I hear they’re putting up fences. Will that work? Maybe. Maybe not. I’ll get to the whys in a minute.

I’m not trying to lay blame on anybody here. Floridians accept gators as part of everyday life, but this family was from the Midwest. They were on a beach that looked like it was designed for swimming (and was, at one time; swimming used to be allowed at that lagoon back when the park first opened). They weren’t swimming; they were wading in ankle-deep water. The kid may have been splashing around, inadvertently acting like a prey animal, but he was a kid. They do that in the water. Apparently his parents were close enough that the father tried to jump on top of the gator to get his son back, so you can’t point fingers at them. And anyway, they were at Disney World, the happiest—and supposedly safest—place on earth. When you’re walking on a white-sand beach at the Magic Kingdom, alligator attacks are the last thing on your mind.

I don’t blame Disney World. The lakes and lagoons are posted “No Swimming.” They have people whose sole job is to spot alligators and notify animal control. There are lifeguards, though maybe not enough. This was the first alligator-related incident in 40 years for them. Could they have done more? Certainly. They could have added “Beware of alligators” to the “No Swimming” signs. I’m not sure that would have helped, though. Unless some people actually see the danger, they may not believe it exists. Especially if you have a young child who wants to go in the water.

I certainly don’t blame the alligator. It was only doing what gators have been doing since the first proto-crocodilian crawled out of the muck alongside the dinosaurs. If anyone’s to blame, it’s the guests who, according to employee reports, were feeding the gators from the hotel. They didn’t even need to feed the gators, just toss food to the ducks and fish. This causes the gators’ favorite meals to congregate in human-inhabited areas. Predators go where the food is. A small child is about the size of alligator chow, and they’re going to splash around in the water like a duck or an injured mammal. Pretty simple math from that point on.

So now the beaches at Disney World are fenced off, and there may be “Warning—Alligators” signs. Will it help? I’m willing to cop to a solid maybe. When, not if, it happens again, I’m laying the blame firmly where it belongs: on the arrogance, entitlement, and sheer stupidity inherent in certain segments of humanity.

Shortly before the Disney World incident we had that report from Cincinnati, of the kid who fell into the gorilla enclosure at the zoo. It was not an accident. That kid was determined to get in and see the gorillas, and got through at least two barriers to do so. He was four. No way he could even conceive of the consequences of his actions. The trouble is, there are alleged grownups out there with that same mentality. They’re dead set on doing something they’ve been warned is dangerous, and no amount of signage is going to stop them.

I talked about this in a previous blog. Some instances are harmless. Some, not so much.

I still get my WiFi from the library. The library is still closed on Friday, although the lobby is open for the post office/passport office. They still have that five-foot sign planted right in front of the doors, announcing in big, bold letters that the library is closed. And people still come in, walk right around the sign, cross the lobby to the library, tug on the locked doors and go, “It’s closed? When’d that happen?” Oh, about a year ago. Some people are slow on the uptake.

Many years ago there was a news report about a kid—a teenager, I believe, certainly old enough to know better—who scaled four fences in order to get to a public pool that had closed for the night. I’m sure at least one of those fences had a “No Trespassing” sign on it. That wasn’t enough to stop our determined hero. He made it to the pool, climbed in under the tarp, got trapped and drowned. Outraged citizens demanded the pool be closed. The pool was forced to hire a security guard to protect the terminally stupid from the consequences of their own ill-advised actions. Bet the pool’s admission went up after that. Bet people complained about that, too.

Granted, some teens aren’t any farther along mentally than that four-year-old in the gorilla enclosure. But, assuming they survive their teen years, they don’t get any smarter, or any less entitled. I’m talking about grown adults who step into traffic without looking, or who look right at you and cross the street anyway. They’re pedestrians; you're supposed to stop for them. Or the people who want to pet the buffalo at Yellowstone. That’s what the buffalo are there for, right? Or who have to be told hot coffee is hot and can burn you. Or simply can’t accept the word “no” under any circumstances, even if there’s a good reason for it.

This is why, within the next three years, I expect to hear another news story out of Disney World, this time about a grownup, possibly drunk, who gets injured or killed by an alligator in that same lagoon. Because there’s a beach and there’s water and he wants to swim, and anyway, they got rid of all the gators three years ago, right? And he’s on vacation, and nobody’s going to tell him he can’t do whatever he wants. So he’s going to ignore the signs and climb over the fences, and the gators are going to go, “Hey, Morrie! Cleanup on aisle 5!”

But that’ll be him, and not any of us. Because we don’t do those things. We know better. Right?

Once Bitten

It took me longer than I figured on, but I finally got my WIP finished and sent it out into the world. We’ll see what happens to it now. Meanwhile, I’ll be moving on to the next thing on my to-do list, which I’ve decided will be the Carina Challenge. That’s write and sub five stories to five different anthologies coming out from Carina Press, as detailed in a previous post. I’d better get a move on, too. Deadline for the first one is August 1. What’s today’s date? Let me look at the calendar. Yikes!

I hope I’m not setting myself up for failure here. I know my limitations. I write slow. It takes me forever to get stories done. That one that just went out should have been done and on its way back in March. And now I want to write five stories in a two to three month period? What the hell am I thinking?

Let me show you what I’ve put myself up against. The anthologies call for novellas, defined by this publisher as 25,000-40,000 words. The one I just finished came out to 28,000 words, or 50+ single-spaced typed pages. That’s what I have to look forward to, times five. There are writers out there who can pull that off. I don’t count myself among them. There’s biting off more than you can chew, and then there’s stuffing your face to the point you can’t breathe and have to barf up something. Then you risk looking like a loser in front of everybody, and feeling like one to boot.

On the other hand, what’s life without a little challenge? Or a big one, for that matter?

So what the hell. Maybe I am taking too big of a bite for my writing speed. In fact, strike the “maybe” off that last sentence. I’m still going for it. I can’t run a marathon either, but I can sure as hell start one. Any amount I get done I’ll consider a victory. Just writing something every day is considered a victory by some. That group I can call myself a part of.

Theoretically, it can be done. Mathematically, it’s possible to write a 30,000-word novella in a month, if you write 1000 words per day. That’s the part where I tend to trip up. I’ll just have to put an hour aside and write a thousand words, then double up on the weekends. That’s just for verbiage. What about plots? Well, I had one of my contenders already started, with my eye on a different publisher, when I heard about the Carina anthologies, so I’m a couple thousand words ahead on that one already. I have bits of something in the closet that, if cleaned up and completed, might do for another. An idea I was toying with will work for a third. I came up blank on the fourth and fifth, but now that my subconscious has had time to chew on the problem, I think I can come up with something.

Will any of these be long enough? Won’t know until I write ’em. Plus I’ve got a break. According to Carina’s submission specs, if you’ve written for other publishers or self-pubbed with regularity (in short, proven you can write to deadline on a regular basis), they will take proposals in place of a finished work. That gives me an extra six weeks after the stated deadline. I should still have at least a first draft done or close to done before I send anything in. Then if they don’t ask for it, I don’t have to finish it. If they do ask for it … well, I’m always at my best with a specific project and a short deadline. I think I’m addicted to the adrenaline rush.

Hey, if I can write a 1000-word blog in an hour, I can write a 1000-word scene. Piece of cake. Times five. That’s a damn big cake, but even sheet cakes can be devoured if you attack them one moderate bite at a time. Just chew carefully. On to the challenge!

Take the Carina Challenge

I’ve mentioned here and elsewhere what a slow writer I am. How it takes me forever to get a story written, polished and off to market. How I work much better when I have a set deadline, with actual consequences if I miss it (which is why setting personal deadlines doesn’t really work for me). This is why I like contests and open calls so much. It forces me to accomplish something—a finished story, in this case—by a certain due date. Miss it, and I’m SOL.

Which is why I (figuratively) wet my pants when I heard Carina Press had announced an open call for an anthology.

Carina Press is a digital-only offshoot of Harlequin. Unlike the Harlequin paperback lines, Carina’s more daring. They’ll take anything: M/F, M/M, multiples and poly, tame, spicy, erotica, you name it. This time around they’re looking for novellas, with a word count of 25,000 to 40,000 words. That’s fairly short by writing standards, a week’s work for speedy writers, more like two months for me. Deadlines are spread out from August to October.

That’s right, I said deadlines. Carina’s got five of them going, due at various times: Taboo love, due August 1; science fiction/alien love, due September 6; two shapeshifter anthos, one het, one M/M, both due September 20; and a jewel thief/heist/caper antho, due October 4. Except for the two that were specifically designated hetero and M/M, pretty much any pairing goes.

With five subjects to choose from, I shouldn’t have any trouble coming up with ideas to fit at least one of the anthos. Sure enough, I did. I’ve got ideas I can apply to all five of the books.

This is the challenge I’ve set for myself: aim a story, minimum 25K words, at each and every one of Carina’s open calls. See how many I can get finished, or close to finished (I believe Carina takes proposals as well as completed works) by the specified due dates. If this doesn’t get me writing, and writing a lot, over the next several months, I might as well pack it in and go back to office drudgery.

Some aren’t a problem. I’ve got abandoned stuff in the closet I can resurrect for the the SF and both of the shapeshifter books. The toughies will be the taboo book and the caper book. I’ve always wanted to write a caper story—I love reading them—but my mind won’t wrap itself around the concept. Well, that one’s due last, so I’ve got extra time. The taboo antho … eh. Maybe something will come to me.

The best part is, this will force me to write, polish, and sub. All I needed was the deadline. Now I’ve got five of them. And if they don’t get picked, no prob. I can market the finished products to other publishers.

I haven’t decided yet what names I’ll put on them. The M/Ms can be JJ’s; I guess the others will be me, though maybe not the taboo one. I might want to disguise myself for that. I’ve already started the SF story. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

Want to get in on the fun? Here’s a link for the specs: http://carinapress.com/blog/2016/05/carina-press-submission-call-for-five-2016-romance-anthologies/. You can look up Carina’s general submission guidelines on their website, http://carinapress.com/blog/submission-guidelines/. Happy writing!