Week 1 - Trial Runs and Helpful Hints

So here we are—one week into my personal challenge of writing a book per month for the duration of 2024. How did I do?

Not too bad. Not perfect, but not awful enough to plunge me into despair and self-doubt and make me give up within twenty-four hours of the start of the new year. I did that with my resolution to eat better. Went out January 2 for supplies and bought Mounds bars and Cheese Doodles and other unhealthy stuff, which I binged on over the rest of the week. This is not how diets work. Still, it wasn’t a resolution per se, so I can let it go. I just have to be careful not to do that again. Or not do it too often. Maybe I can sneak up on a healthy diet and then give up junk food for Lent. Kind of a practice run. Like the way I’m sneaking up on exercise. I leave the house and move around every other day. Once the weather gets better it’ll be every day. As I phase out the junk food (in particular bakery goods and candy bars with all their processed sugar) the pounds will drop off slowly without undue exercise. By the time spring rolls around and temperatures start to rise, I won’t be hauling around as much body fat and will actually want to move more. I’m slowly getting myself up to the point where I can stroll around stores without using a cart as a walker.

Slow, incremental changes appear to be the key, at least for me. I’ve tried self-challenges and resolutions in the past. My biggest problem seems to be piling too much on my plate at once. Then I get overwhelmed, give up in despair, and go back to my old bad habits. I do this with writing, too. It’s part of the reason I went on an unshakeable block for most of last year. Girl, relax. Build up those muscles, physical and mental, a bit at a time. Every day you do something instead of nothing is a win. Pretty soon the habit muscles will strengthen and you can push yourself a little further. I want to lose five pounds by the end of the month. That’s doable. Losing too much weight too fast isn’t good for you anyway.

I will not be giving up pizza. Just cutting back. My plan there is to treat myself to pizza every time I finish a book. That’s not too bad. Every time I sub something, I’ll have pizza and a soda. Yeah, there’s my motivation.

You’re welcome to try this approach as well, Keep in mind we’re all different, so your mileage may vary.

And now, the Week 1 update, positive division. I started work on a shapeshifter romance, and continued work on the original side project, which is currently in its second draft. I’ve been able to write at least a little something on one or the other, sometimes both, every day. I haven’t had to resort to flash fill-ins at all. I haven’t touched any computer games since at least three weeks before the start of the new year. My attitude has been upbeat, for the most part. I’ve been sleeping better. The fact I’m able to write and post two blogs within a week is a major triumph in itself. All this is while I’m working on a paid assignment which is due this Friday. See that? A couple deep breaths, a reduction in sugar consumption, and miracles can happen.

Things I need to work on: My resolve does tend to peter out as the week wears on. More than once I caught myself slipping back into my well-worn procrastination habits. They’re mainly tied to the laptop (that’s where the internet and all its siren distractions live) but I’ve got a couple of tricks to get me through. For one, I can write longhand, where the Web can’t get at me. That’ll work for the romance, but not for the other one. That one’s already longhand; I’m trying to type it into the system, rewriting as I go. For that I just go for a music channel and tie up the WiFi while I type on the hard drive. Once I get going I don’t have a problem. It’s the “get going” part where I stumble. If things get really bad I’ll just unplug the WiFi. I’ve found if I don’t write first thing in the morning, other obligations start getting in the way and I never get around to the manuscripts. Those are the days I end up frantically scribbling flash scenes right before bed. That cropped up a couple of times this week. Fortunately, I was able to scribble scenes from my works in progress rather than random flash. Eventually my lazy subconscious will realize it’s not going to win and back off. I wanted to write this post two days ago, but the bastard kept distracting me. And yet here we are. Take that, asshole!

Finally, a simple tip I got from Dr. Google is helping me tame my insomnia. Being old, I tend to go to bed early (average bed time, 10 pm) and get up at least once, sometimes two or three times, to clean the pipes. All too often I find I can’t fall back to sleep. That’s when the negative thoughts creep in. Every mistake I’ve ever made, every bad thing that’s happened to me, comes blasting back like a crappy rerun on TV Land. When I do finally fall asleep, I wake up afterwards feeling like shit on toast. Naturally, my attitude is in the hopper. You can imagine how my writing goes.

 The worst time for this is between 2 and 4 am. How do I know? Because I’ve been checking the clock. Dr. Google’s solution: don’t check the clock, especially if it’s one of those digital ones with the glowing screen. Not only does seeing the time stress you out, the blue light messes with your sleep hormones and helps keep you awake. So last week I stopped checking the time when I got up for my pee breaks. And son of a poodle with a litter of puppies, it worked. I do my business, crawl back into bed, lie there for maybe a minute and then drop right off. When I do wake up and look at the clock, it’s around 5-6 am and I’d be getting up anyway. If you’re having sleep problems, give this a try. Again, your mileage may vary.

This week I’m going to see about shutting down the laptop at 7 pm because I’ve been having off-and-on problems with falling asleep to begin with.  You’re supposed to avoid screens at least an hour before bed. I already blew that one today because I wanted to write this blog, so I’ll have to kick that off tomorrow. I’ll let you know how it works out. See you next week!

 

  

That Was the Year That Was

 

Ah, New Year’s. That magical time when everything changes. Twelve sucky months behind us, twelve fresh, untouched months of opportunities and new beginnings ahead. One click of the minute hand past midnight and we’re primed and ready to become thinner, richer, happier, healthier, more successful and less constipated (for us older resolution-makers). Most of the resolutions won’t last beyond a week or so, but at least we’ll still have around fifty weeks of possibilities ahead.

I hope so, because I’m one of those unfortunate folks who got the sucky 2023.

If you recall, I was going to write a book a month this year. That didn’t happen for various reasons, chiefly depression and my video game addiction. One tends to lead to the other, I’m never quite sure what triggers which. All I know is that both together gave me a crippling writer’s block. Recently, though, I got a handle on both and have started writing again. January 1 sounds like the perfect day to reclaim the mantel of writer.

Indeed, I pretty much have to, due to the other reason 2023 sucked so badly for me.

The year started out fine, with me feeling upbeat and ambitious and truly stoked over challenging myself to write a book a month for an entire year. (Keep in mind we’re talking romance e-books here, where anything over 25-30K words can count as a “book.” Even if you only write a thousand words a day, you’ll have a draft by the end of the month. I didn’t say it had to be a completed, polished, ready-for-subbing book. But a draft is far better than nothing.) Financially I was in a good spot. The paid assignments had fallen off, but I could still meet my monthly expenses. I had savings in the bank and Social Security every month. But having a little extra income never hurts, which is why I turned to the writing. I asked myself, “What can I do to bring in some extra cash?” and since I’d always wanted to be a writer and now had plenty of time, having aged out of the job market and all, I decided to give it a go.

Then, beginning in March, everything went to shit.

First it was the unexpectedly high ($700) tax bill. Then my one tooth got infected and needed a root canal. Then I started bleeding from my lady parts, almost twenty years after Aunt Flo ceased her monthly visits. Trust me, ladies and gents (especially ladies), that’s never a good thing. Something went wrong with my right eye, causing mild double vision which made driving an adventure. And let’s not forget the $200 to have a guy come out and trap the groundhog that moved in under my mobile home. Skunks are fine, but groundhogs burrow. They also chew through wires, putting my electricity, plumbing and especially my gas heating system at risk. Yeah, Chucky had to go.

So went 2023: one expense after another, with no warning and no letup. I dealt with the tooth, then learned I needed surgery to stop the vajayjay bleeding, which had tested positive for cancer. (I’m fine now, by the way.) Then I had the car in the shop twice, once for a new timer (that one needed the tow truck), then to fix a loose connection that was draining my battery. I discovered that one when I got in to drive to the eye doctor and the car wouldn’t start. I had to reschedule; when I did get in, over a week later, I learned part of the gelatinous mass in my eye had detached, causing the double vision. An expensive operation would fix it, but there’s no guarantee it wouldn’t recur. It’s got a slowly-growing cataract anyway. I can live with it, but I’ll need new glasses. I put that off until next spring. I also canceled a dental checkup to save money (they want to do expensive x-rays Medicare won’t cover). So it’s eyes and teeth again next April. I haven’t even started getting the hospital’s charges for the operation yet.

Meanwhile, the number of paid assignments keeps dwindling, while my basic expenses keep rising. If you were wondering why I got depressed and turned to video games and stopped writing for several months, wonder no further.

But all is not lost. The hysterectomy may have finally shaken me out of my complacency. I went cold turkey on the games and started moving around more (doctor’s orders in that case) and eating better (lack of money there; I only have so much to spend, so junk food had to go). My bank was stupid enough to send me an offer for a Visa card, with no interest charged for eighteen months. Even more foolishly, they approved my application. Now I can splurge on stuff like lot rent and utilities and groceries while waiting for the big bills to come in.

I have a reprieve, for the moment. There are still expenses a’comin’, but I can plan ahead. And now that I’m writing again, I can pick up where I left off last year, and write a book a month. This time I intend to go through with it because I’m running low on options. I have to be careful taking outside jobs because I’m only allowed to earn so much before Social Security starts penalizing me. Luckily writing’s an iffy profession, with payments spaced out over months or even years sometimes. If I get even a trickle of extra income, great; every little bit helps. If I hit it big, Social Security isn’t going to matter. I have other stuff I can do, like clean out the Book Room and sell the comic collection. If I can get cash, I don’t have to declare it on my taxes. With the Visa card to tide me over, I might just pull this off.

So here we go again, folks. I’m going to write and sub books. This time I really mean it. It’s a matter of life or financial ruin. And anyway, an article on Yahoo said 2024 will be a lucky year for Capricorns because gloomy proto-planet Pluto is finally moving out of our sign. Normally I don’t put much stock in astrology, except when I want to believe in it. After this shitpile of a year, I need a break, so I say Yahoo and the stars aren’t lying and it’s all turning around. Starting right at midnight tonight, there’s nowhere to go but up.

Although the fridge has been making weird noises…and so has the furnace…and Marvel Comics killed off my favorite character and is showing no signs of bringing him back. But I’ve got ideas and I’m definitely motivated. You’ll be seeing me here on a weekly basis as I chronicle my journey back to financial solvency. Unless, of course, the laptop crashes. Yeesh. Is it midnight yet? Happy New Year, everybody!   

 

 

Catchup

No, not the red stuff you dip fries in. I’m talking about my weekly resolutions.

I started off fine, adding a new resolution every week throughout January. Then the massive snowfall hit, and everything went off the rails. Granted, I was having a struggle with the 1000 words a day thing before the first flake fell. I followed that one up by establishing a schedule, to reserve time for the 1000 words as well as time for the paid freelance stuff and maybe even typing. Then all the snow came down and I had to take hours off to move it off my car, and that was it for the schedule. I’m working my way back up to the 1000 words a day. If I didn’t have to stop to eat and take showers and things like that, everything would work out.

To my own astonishment, I did keep my very first resolution, the one about ten minutes of exercise per day. I think I put in a month’s worth shoveling the snow. I’m back to walking up and down the aisles of stores and letting solar power deal with the snow.

Has the exercise done me any good? I still can’t tell. I’ve certainly been sleeping better. At some point I’ll grit my teeth and up the time to fifteen minutes a day. As long as I don’t hike in a grocery store, I should be okay.

# # #

Along with the exercise and the writing, I’m trying to improve my eating habits by choosing healthier foods, cutting back on portions, and cutting out the junk and processed foods. Like the 1000 words a day, it’s easier said than done. I’m as addicted to sugar as the next obese American. I’m trying to counter this with food substitutions—say, a piece of fruit instead of a candy bar, or water or juice instead of soda. Fruit comes with its own sugars, but you also get vitamins and fiber and good stuff you won’t find in a candy bar. I’ve also got a box of Cocoa Krispies for when the munchies hit. Not that a lot of cereals aren’t much better than candy, but I’m working my way up.

An interesting side effect of this resolution is the experimentation. If you’re looking for nutrition in your food, start with fresh. Frozen comes in second. Canned is loaded with salt and preservatives and should be used only in emergencies. I try to go with fresh whenever possible. Living in farm country helps, especially with the veggies.

I also like grain. However, not all of them like me back. Ever since my stomach surgery some grains, like wheat, have been giving me trouble, but I can eat all the rice I want without suffering for it. I also discovered I like pearled barley, for some odd reason. Trouble is, barley in its natural state is pretty tasteless. There are boxed versions with spice packets for flavor enhancement, but they’re pricey. For the same money I can get a bag of pearled barley in the bulk foods aisle and a jar of spices and fiddle around until I get the taste the way I want it. Throw some veggies into the pot and you’ve got yourself a meal. Or two or three, because I’m going for smaller portions now.

Yes, you heard me right. I’m—dare I even say the word—cooking. I’m rather astonished myself.

One of these days I’m going to go all out and try some of those spices on chicken breasts, instead of paying extra for the prepackaged or breaded stuff. Eventually I’ll try my hand at my favorite Chinese dish, beef and broccoli. So that’s what the oven is for. You learn something new every day.

# # #

This week’s resolution is to start cleaning the clutter out of my house. I don’t think I’m ready to tackle the Book Room just yet. Better to start slow, like with the kitchen table or something. Build my way up to the closets. It’ll be strange, being able to see the tabletop and the floors again. As long as it doesn’t snow for the rest of the winter, I should be okay.

Time Management

Told you last week this would be the hard part.

Quick recap: this year, instead of setting a list of New Year’s resolutions that would only peter out in a week, I’m resolving a bit at a time. Specifically, one small change every week, all leading up to a better, healthier, more financially stable life by the end of December. The first week involved adding exercise to my far-too-sedentary lifestyle. Last week I resolved to write 1000 words a day. It only takes an hour, two at the most. Shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Ha. Ha-ha, in fact.

As usual, I underestimated my ability to blow off days at a time. Too many other things get in the way. Housework. Eating. Doing the dishes after eating. Showers. Working the paid freelance job. Trips to the library to use their free Internet. Grocery shopping. Reading. Mindless TV. When I finally glance at the clock, I discover yet another day has gotten away from me.

Last week wasn’t a total fail. I hit the target four days out of seven. On one day I wrote at least 2000 words. On average, however, trying to play catchup never goes well either.

The good news is, this can be fixed. It’s all due to habit, and habits can be changed. I just have to alter behaviors and stay on top of things. To that end, we come to Week 3’s resolution, the frenemy of writers everywhere: the schedule.

Mine’s simple. Get up in the morning, have my tea, write longhand until I get hungry (usually around 9 a.m., when the Supernatural reruns start on TNT. Gives me something to watch while I eat breakfast). In short, do my writing in the morning, when I’m as close to energetic as I get. Afternoons are reserved for the paid freelance assignments, trips to the library for email, and possible typing. Evenings are there for whatever—research, edits, extra writing, inventory of all those bits and pieces I’ve got stashed in the closet. It’s not like there’s anything decent on TV these days. Sundays I take off and do housework. Sounds like a plan to me.

It also sounds like a job, which still makes a part of me recoil in horror. On the other hand, it’s a job with no commute, which makes it much easier to live with, especially at this time of year. Snow and ice storms become an asset when you don’t have to drive in them. Getting stuck in the house gives you a chance to catch up on things, like dusting and doing the dishes. And piling up a stack of rough drafts to be polished into submittable stories.

Will it work? In theory, yeah. Structure is always a good thing, and deadlines keep you focused. Though it could take time to adjust. I did fine on Sunday—got my 1000 words in, then worked on a freelance assignment. Then hit a speedbump Monday, as I devoted most of the day to freelance work, which comes with an actual paycheck. I have to get that done and out of the house first, before I can start on the 1500 words I need to write today to even out yesterday. And write and post this blog, of course. I’d better add “prioritize” to this week’s resolution.

Resolutions can be kept and changes can be made. We’re into Week 3 and I’ve kept up with my daily ten minutes of exercise. Sometimes it’s simple calisthenics or hiking up and down the aisles of the KMart, but any form of movement is a plus when you haven’t been moving at all. Is it doing any good? Must be; I seem to have more energy, and I don’t feel like taking naps all the time. Weight loss? Too soon to tell. The pants say yes, the scale says no. In February I’ll up the stakes to 15 minutes a day. The ultimate goal is a minimum of 20 minutes per day at least three times a week and 15 minutes on the other days. That probably won’t happen until spring, when I can go outside. Riding the bike around the house doesn’t work, not even in a trailer.

Next week will be easier. I’ll be modifying my diet with more fruits and veggies and cutting back on the portions. I can only eat what I bring into the house, so if I only buy healthy foods, I’m golden. Now I just have to find healthy foods that taste as good as junk food. I suspect I’ll be eating more fruits than veggies. Why doesn’t lettuce come in a sugar variety?

And Now, the Hard Part

Hi-deli-ho, neighborinos! How’d you do at Powerball? Not well, I’m guessing, because anyone who won a substantial amount isn’t on the Internet. Around about now they’re waking up with a hangover in someone else’s bed. Hope they signed the backs of their tickets. You should always do that first.

Did I win? Yes and no. I bought two tickets Saturday morning. I had one number right on each of them. One of those numbers was the Powerball, so I get my $4 back. It’s not $900 million, but I consider breaking even a win.

I don’t think I’ll be playing on Wednesday. Look at the odds. The millions of people in the US and Canada—hell, around the world—who played, and nobody hit the jackpot. I heard somebody somewhere in Pennsylvania got five of the numbers and won a million. Maybe others did too. Good for them. I was disappointed when I checked the payout schedule. Powerball doesn’t pay out on percentages. Five numbers, no Powerball gets you a million. Four plus the Powerball is $50,000. Four and no Powerball = $100. It drops even further after that. Screw this.

Besides, it’s gotten surreal now. The jackpot’s at over a billion dollars. I can’t even conceive of that much. Wonder how big of a chunk the government demands? Hell, for a billion bucks you could buy the government. You could buy Trump. Start your own country, claim hardship, and apply for US government aid. Let me know how that works out.

Personally, I’ll be ticked if someone who’s not an American citizen rakes in the jackpot. All right, I’ll give Canadians a pass. Canada’s okay. They gave us William Shatner. But if some Middle Eastern terrorist turns up with the winning ticket, I will be quite perturbed. Wouldn’t that throw a damper on lottery fever. If that happens, you’d better believe laws will change in a hurry.

# # #

So how are my weekly resolutions going? So far, so good. It wasn’t always easy, but I found ten minutes per day to fit in a walk and/or stretching exercises. A couple of times I did laps in the house. On weekends I walk around malls. That’s led to an interesting sidebar. Malls sure have gone downhill in the last twenty years or so. The four I’ve hiked around in the last six months, both pre- and post-Christmas rush, have been pretty dead. In the one I hiked last weekend they had five cell phone stores. All of them have at least two or more empty stores. In the one yesterday, they’d lost one of their big anchor stores. I know of at least two malls within driving distance that have been torn down and replaced with separate stores, like way back in the old days.

Too bad, because malls are great for us old folks to take walks in, especially in harsh winter weather. Except, of course, for Lancaster County’s premiere mall, Park City. Most malls are built in a straight line, perfect for an easy hike. Park City’s a wheel. You go to the hub and walk up and down the spokes. Lancaster’s geared more toward outlets. Plenty of walking room, but it’s all open air. Not so much fun in 30-degree temps and wind chill.

I’ll probably be doing my indoor hikes in the trailer, or in the KMart, which is closer to where I live than the WalMart. Or the grocery store, though that tends to be counterproductive. Too much temptation to grab a candy bar at the end of my walk. Exercise is not supposed to make you gain weight. Spring and warmer temps better get here soon.

# # #

That was Week 1’s resolution. Now comes the challenge of Week 2: write a thousand words per day. Every single day. Yes, you heard me correctly. Every. Single. Day.

I can hear you, you know. If you don’t stop laughing, you’re going to get this ballpoint up your nose. Or a lot farther down.

I can do this. I’m doing it right now. This blog post should top out at about a thousand words. Most of my posts do. Sometimes they’re longer, sometimes shorter. I write two blogs per week. See? It can be done.

Only I’m not talking about blogs. I’m talking fiction. One thousand words of fiction per day. New fiction, not just retyping longhand stuff. I’ve got the sweats already.

If you’re a fast, prolific writer, a thousand words is nothing. A lot of writers shoot for 5000 words a day, hit it and surpass it. Those writers are successful professionals, with a typing speed you wouldn’t believe. I am not a fast, prolific writer. If I want to become a successful professional so I can pay the rent, I’m going to have to become one.

This should be easy if I have a project I’m hot on, but what do I do once I’ve finished it?

Here’s where the cheating comes in. Up until now I haven’t counted blogs in my daily writing tallies. That just changed. Right now I’m in the prelim stages of plotting out what I hope will be a long-term continued story for my other blog, Shapeshifter Seductions. Each chapter will be a separate post, about a thousand words. I want to stockpile about a dozen chapters before I start posting this muthuh, to make sure I don’t run into any serious plot holes or run out of steam halfway through. If I do a thousand word rough draft every day, goal achieved. Several goals at once, in fact.

In addition, I can combine both weeks’ resolutions and plot out the day’s writing while I’m taking that ten-minute walk, then come home and write it down. Mission accomplished!

I’m not sure what Week 3’s resolution will be. Probably “cut down on junk food.” There go the walks through the grocery stores. Good luck to you Powerball players for Wednesday. If you win the billion, I’ll split it with you. Sounds like a fair deal to me.

The Shape of Things to Come

Welcome to the New Year! Made it through the holidays okay? I can’t believe I lasted all the way to midnight. Back in ancient times, when the car and I were both a lot younger, I used to drive down to a friend’s house in Valley Forge for her annual New Year’s party. And then drive home at around 1:30-2:00 in the morning. Sometimes with ice and/or snow on the road. I’d get home around 3:30, go to bed, and get up again around 7 am because all the caffeine (I can’t drink booze; it doesn’t agree with my finicky stomach) and adrenaline had jacked up my system to the point I couldn’t sleep. Then I’d stumble around the house all day like a zombie and take down my Christmas tree. Flash forward to the here and now, where if I can stay awake to 10:00 pm I consider it an achievement. I’m still better off than my brother, who says he hasn’t seen the ball drop in ten years. These days he’s usually in bed by nine. Of course, he’s nine years older than I am. And always will be. Nyah nyah.

Anyway, it’s that time again. Got your resolutions made? All set to kick those bad habits, get that new car or that new job, dump those pounds padding your ass and hanging off your gut? Not me. I’ve finally called it quits. What’s the point? Every year I make resolutions and every year they fizzle out before the first week’s over. Then I just feel crappy. I don’t want to feel crappy. The easiest way out of this vicious cycle is not to let it start. So screw you, New Year’s resolutions. I reiterate: nyah nyah.

And then the future went and threw me a curve. Looks like I’ll have to make a resolution after all, and stick with it at least until September. Even worse, it’s one of the toughest: lose weight. In my case, a considerable amount of weight.

Why? I hear you ask. What could possibly entice lazy me into finally shucking my excess poundage? Vanity, pure and simple. Y’see, my brother’s youngest, my nephew, is getting married in September. I’m going to have to show up for the wedding. In a dress, or quality pants at the very least. In public. That means I’ll need to get something that fits me. I don’t think elastic-waistband jeans are appropriate for a wedding for anyone over the age of 20, unless the bride is marrying one of the Rolling Stones or something. So I’ll have to find something decent-looking.

Yeah, right. If you’re bigger than a size 6, good luck with that. In the fashion industry, size 10 is considered Plus. All the good-looking clothing is designed for skinny little scarecrows with no hips or boobs. The rest of us … well, just take a stroll through your local WalMart. Be sure to bring plenty of eyedrops.

I have no choice. If I want to look presentable for my nephew’s wedding, I’m going to have to dump some padding, or at least inches. That means a plan. A—what’s the word I want? Resolution. Damn. And the new year was going so well.

Therefore, I have resolved to make a series of New Year’s resolutions. But this year, I’m going to do it differently. Instead of making a list of things at the start of the year and letting them all peter out in a week, I’m doing it a week at a time. One small, doable change every week over the course of a year. Week 5: start cleaning out the clutter. Week 12: initiate a job hunt. Things like that. Do one tiny task for a week until it becomes a habit. Then add another small change, a good habit replacing a bad one. And so on down the line.

For the first full week of the new year, I’m going to do a minimum of 10 minutes of exercise per day. Not a prob. Instead of parking myself in front of the TV, I can take a walk around the block. Or do laps in the house if the weather’s bad. That’s the advantage of living in a trailer. Once I build up some stamina I’ll go back to hiking up that steep hill to the library instead of taking the car. If I carry the laptop, I can call it weight training.

In the weeks to come I’ll add in other stuff, like eating smaller portions of better foods and eliminating junk foods from my diet. If I do it in stages, it won’t feel so overwhelming. It’s like writing a book. Say you want to write a novel of 90,000 words. Sounds daunting, doesn’t it? Not if you only write a thousand words a day. Most people can do that in an hour or two. This blog’s about a thousand words, and I wrote it in an hour. See? Easy. Do that every day and in three months you’ve finished your 90,000-word book. Not so insurmountable when you look at it that way, is it?

If I change my eating and exercising habits a bit at a time instead of all at once, there’s less chance of me getting frustrated and quitting. It just takes persistence and patience. But hey, it’s only January and I’ve got until September. If I don’t lose actual weight, I’m sure to lose inches, which is even better. That’s one small step for man, one giant leap into a smaller dress size for mankind.

I should probably get a newer car, too, so I can drive to north Jersey in style. I don’t think “rob a bank” would go over big as a resolution with the state authorities. Better try something else. If I start subbing to publishers that actually pay advances …